So, it's been months and months since my last update.
Sadly, it's all been rather down hill. I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years and 8 months. Known her for about 8 years. I feel so hollow. I'm not sure how I can move on from thinking I'd spend a whole life with this person. She feel in love with someone else while we were going out. I found out rather than got told about it. I was crushed, not only because she was kissing and falling for another guy. What hurt me the most was that she said "I love you so much." That's the one thing that hurt so incredibly much. I can't begin to fathom how she could love me at the time and love someone else so much.
How can I continue on knowing that everything I loved, loved something else?
24/12/2011
13/04/2011
Just a post
I've been wanting to listening to music a lot recently. I have an mp3 player but the headphones that I use are, well not broken but broken if you know what I mean. It's the usual problem at the jack where it connects to the device. Seems to happen to every pair of headphones at some point. You'd think in a time where we have buildings in the clouds we could make headphones last. Another thing like that is phones. I can't believe how much I can't understand people on phones these days. The sound quality makes me think that phones are a new thing. Considering a phone can now do pretty much everything a computer can do, you'd think that you could hear someone as clear as you do like on a Skype call. I do think Skype will eventually be the bar for phones services and so it should be.
Watching Edward Scissorhands on TV at the moment. It's such an emotional, brilliant film. I can relate to it in some ways or not being accepted and feeling like you should have been something more but thankfully you have some wonderful people around you. The music is also so touching and deep. Quite beautiful, but that's what music is.
Watching Edward Scissorhands on TV at the moment. It's such an emotional, brilliant film. I can relate to it in some ways or not being accepted and feeling like you should have been something more but thankfully you have some wonderful people around you. The music is also so touching and deep. Quite beautiful, but that's what music is.
23/02/2011
Just do something half interesting!
Hey folks, as thought, I have missed out on actual blogging. One topic I wish to cover tonight is ... friends.
What is a friend? Dictionary.com tells us that a friend is most commonly: "A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."
This does make sense because if you like someone you do regard them as person you wish to interface more with. However, as with everything in life, something that is one thing to you may be completely different to another. A friend for me is someone who asks the question, of which I feel truly bonds people. That question is quite simply "You?" All through my life, I have had people in my life that I could call "friends." However I more see people as I know you, your name for example. For someone to be my friend they have to want to engage with me. This seems to be a massive problem in my life. Whilst I was at primary school (ages 5-12) I had a couple of friends, people I knew and then occasionally a best friend. Then whilst at high school (ages 12-18) I had a best friend for 3 of those years. He and I were almost not seen apart but then he grew up I guess and I had a very difficult time in dealing with this. I had to realise that it wasn't that he matured and it was in fact he never asked "You?". At that time it seemed to be where kids would date, drink, smoke and maybe do drugs. I wasn't included any of these things but probably because I wasn't a cool kid. I really wasn't interested in any of these things, I just wanted to game and enjoy my time with friends that really knew me. The friends that I had from primary school that also went to my high school left around the time I was 17. I then realised that I was almost completely alone in reality and this upset me but not to the point where I let it affect me.
I was such a gamer, I had become a nerd. I would go in to online chat rooms and talk to hundreds of people I never met or knew in any way. I had a place where I could go "Hey, how are you?" They would then reply "Fine, thanks. You?" It's incredible. Simply by people saying one word to me they have instantly gained some respect of mine. So much of the modern world has become a self-obsessed place. I look at things in the world, the increase of prices on anything, bad manners on TV and streets, complete rudeness between strangers. We now live in world where you better look at yourself because no one else will. This is where I think friends change the way I live. If I think someone if truly a friend, I want them beside me at all time. In reality though, that's not possible because as of right now, I feel like I have work friends and online friends. My only true friend is, thankfully, my girlfriend. I've been with her for 7 years now and she still wants to know about my day. That to me is bliss. I think this is where I "fail" at keeping friends. I want to be all or nothing and not a thing in between.
A friend for me is someone who replies "You?"
What is a friend? Dictionary.com tells us that a friend is most commonly: "A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard."
This does make sense because if you like someone you do regard them as person you wish to interface more with. However, as with everything in life, something that is one thing to you may be completely different to another. A friend for me is someone who asks the question, of which I feel truly bonds people. That question is quite simply "You?" All through my life, I have had people in my life that I could call "friends." However I more see people as I know you, your name for example. For someone to be my friend they have to want to engage with me. This seems to be a massive problem in my life. Whilst I was at primary school (ages 5-12) I had a couple of friends, people I knew and then occasionally a best friend. Then whilst at high school (ages 12-18) I had a best friend for 3 of those years. He and I were almost not seen apart but then he grew up I guess and I had a very difficult time in dealing with this. I had to realise that it wasn't that he matured and it was in fact he never asked "You?". At that time it seemed to be where kids would date, drink, smoke and maybe do drugs. I wasn't included any of these things but probably because I wasn't a cool kid. I really wasn't interested in any of these things, I just wanted to game and enjoy my time with friends that really knew me. The friends that I had from primary school that also went to my high school left around the time I was 17. I then realised that I was almost completely alone in reality and this upset me but not to the point where I let it affect me.
I was such a gamer, I had become a nerd. I would go in to online chat rooms and talk to hundreds of people I never met or knew in any way. I had a place where I could go "Hey, how are you?" They would then reply "Fine, thanks. You?" It's incredible. Simply by people saying one word to me they have instantly gained some respect of mine. So much of the modern world has become a self-obsessed place. I look at things in the world, the increase of prices on anything, bad manners on TV and streets, complete rudeness between strangers. We now live in world where you better look at yourself because no one else will. This is where I think friends change the way I live. If I think someone if truly a friend, I want them beside me at all time. In reality though, that's not possible because as of right now, I feel like I have work friends and online friends. My only true friend is, thankfully, my girlfriend. I've been with her for 7 years now and she still wants to know about my day. That to me is bliss. I think this is where I "fail" at keeping friends. I want to be all or nothing and not a thing in between.
A friend for me is someone who replies "You?"
11/02/2011
I'll BRB
So I haven't posted anything in a lil while and I'll hopefully post something tomorrow after noon.
Topics will be:
Youtube commentators.
Forfar
Life
Sounds like fun, yah?!
Topics will be:
Youtube commentators.
Forfar
Life
Sounds like fun, yah?!
02/02/2011
3 song for The End.
Am I scared of death? I don't know.
I have a fantastic life with a wonderful family, an amazing girlfriend and fantastic friends. It would be only be that I would wish they were happy after I had left.
Regina Spektor - Hero
DJ Dain - Don't Worry, I'm Yours Mashup
Rise Against - Swing Life Away
Three of the most beautiful songs I've ever listened to and all mean something to me.
And because hey it's my day, my most precious song in the world.
Acker Bilk - Stranger On The Shore
I never knew you both but you gave me the two best things in my life. My mum and dad <3
I have a fantastic life with a wonderful family, an amazing girlfriend and fantastic friends. It would be only be that I would wish they were happy after I had left.
Regina Spektor - Hero
DJ Dain - Don't Worry, I'm Yours Mashup
Rise Against - Swing Life Away
Three of the most beautiful songs I've ever listened to and all mean something to me.
And because hey it's my day, my most precious song in the world.
Acker Bilk - Stranger On The Shore
I never knew you both but you gave me the two best things in my life. My mum and dad <3
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